Index

After, whatever I was, 3-7
Angel, broken: kicked off windowsill resulting in, 6; recollection of, 23
Baton Rouge, 16, 22
Bees: gravitation toward, 22; potential disappearance of, 23
Boy, foolish: at that time, 3-18; in some respects still a, 19-22; as a fundamental property of
    one's character, 29
Brooklyn, 22-26
Bullet Rye, 22
C Train, 22
Carelessness, youth and, 6-10
Daydreams: hazards of, 6, 16, 21, 27; persistence of, 28. See also Letter to Montana
Fuck off forever: demand to, 18; possible failure to, 21; recollection of demand, 24. See also
    Letters, Letter to Montana
Honesty: catharsis and, 3, 21; healing and, 23; pain and, 23, 24; irrelevance of, 26
Inaccessibility, emotional: possible attraction of, 25; having overcome, irrelevance of, 25
Letters: historic hazards of writing, 3, 27; disappearance of, 22; finality of, 27
Letter to Montana, 18
Minneapolis, 3-14
Montana, 18
Over, 18, 28
Parenthood: as a transforming experience, 23-24; as a subject of conversation, 23-25;
    relevance of, 25; irrelevance of, 25
Sex: common interest in, 22; eventual disappearance of, 23
Time: relevance of, 25; irrelevance of, 25
You: writing and, 13-29; surprising familiarity with, 22; beauty and, 6, 8, 12, 16, 21, 27; s
    sanity and, 24; fundamental properties of, 25; dreams of, 17, 19, 27; continuing relevance 
    of, 27; hazards of, 27; disappearance of, 28. See also Bees, Daydreams, Letters, Sex, Time

Soul

Is it the spell of this kid who bursts with stories
for whom the most offhand pedestrian is a journey,
a gargoyle, the battle of good and evil?

Or sunrise catching you on the way somewhere
and holding on long enough the speck up there
resolves into a faraway hawk, osprey maybe,
that when you think of it urges you to change the subject
of conversation with a basically stranger
from market share and personnel dynamics
to I love you?

If not all that caffeine or fluorescence beating down
all those hours you focused with teeth clamped muscles
wired up eyes blazing at what again?

Then what, that drives you out and back again
that says all this needs to have a beginning, middle and end,
that asks how it would feel to do something,
for once, with your whole heart?